Sunday, October 30, 2011

FOR MAMA // LEARNING TO LET GO

sofia on her birth day


I've been reading a lot of birth stories lately, and for anyone that has had the chance to read ours, knows that it was anything but what Erick and I had planned for.  As great as it was, there were still some things that had initially bugged me.  But, as most new moms can tell you, sometimes it takes a while for feelings like these to surface.  I know that after I gave birth to Sofia, I found that I had ran on this "natural baby high" for a few months; it was only after re-reading other friends' stories, that had sparked these newly surfacing feelings of things I wish I had done differently.

As I think ahead, I know that I want more children in the future.  The thought honestly scares me a bit because for the past hour I've been sitting here slowly realizing that I still need to make peace with birth before I ever even think about having another baby.  I need to make peace with the fact that it's not the end of the world if you have to get an epidural.  A lot of what happened during Sofia's birth just totally through me for a loop and honestly, it was pretty petrifying at first.  I wasn't expecting to give birth that day.  I wasn't expecting to be induced.  Well, the great thing about it is that I know now.  I really have to learn to make peace with birth and the glorious process that it is.  It will definitely take some time, but I know I can find comfort in the fact I will be ready and willing to expect... the unexpected.

Don't clutch so desperately onto some "plan" of action.  Breathe a little deeper.  Trust those around you.  Pray a little more often, and honestly let it all go.


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2 comments

  1. Just wanted to let you know that I loved reading this post, and thanks for sharing. I completely understand what your feeling. My daughter Chloe was born in June, i was supposed to have a natural birth with my midwives at a birthcenter. I ended up needing to be induced at 41 weeks and 3 days and had to labor and deliver at the hospital, then after being stuck at 8 cm for over 2 hours I gave in and got an epidural, a few hours later and some rest I was still an 8 and my daughter hadn't dropped at all. I ended up getting a c-section. I was pretty devastated that the birth I wanted for my daughter didn't happen, it took awhile to really heal from that. I feel better now about it but of course I still wish Chloe's birth would have gone as planned. I found you on Top baby blogs by the way. i'm on there too, My Family of Three!

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  2. Thanks so much for stopping in, I'm brand new to Top Baby Blogs but I'm so glad I signed up so I can meet other mamas going through the same thing!! I'll make sure to sing by your blog today, too!! :)

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