I'll be honest. I was a little worried about today. I knew Erick's work schedule got messed up and left me and the baby alone on what was supposed to be our "family day" of the week. I took some good advice from friends and thought to myself that I was just going to enjoy the day with my daughter. Sounds too simple, right? I thought that too, it seemed unsaid that, of course I would enjoy my day off with my daughter. But when you're juggling your job, a messy house, an un-existent dating-life and so on... it gets to be more difficult to literally focus on one task. To do nothing except enjoy this beautiful, chunky four month old I get to spend the day with.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that when I focused on one thing, I was not only able to enjoy what I was channeling all my energy toward, but I also (somehow) was able to get more done than I thought I was able to! I couldn't believe it. I woke up today and washed all the fuzzibunz laundry, cleaned everywhere inside the house that I could during Sof's morning nap, my floors are washed, my bed is made, and I've been able to get through this entire day without breaking down and crying like I had previously over having only 24 more hours left before I had to go back to work... I know, I can't believe I would do that either.
The highlight of our day together was just a little bit ago, I had noticed a little patch of sun on our bed and decided to take Sofia in there to breastfeed so we could both snuggle. As I was laying there, I could hear the birds outside while the neighbors were running their electric-powered leaf blower, cars outside honking, even the quiet roar of a distant freight train. Sounds like that bring back intense memories of being outside at my Grandma Jean's hearing the freight trains go by, playing outside in her backyard and getting hit in the head with the occasional acorn. (She lived in the middle of some pretty large Oak trees!) Next thing I realized, I had been sleeping for around an hour. I looked over at Sof and she had passed out holding on to my arm that was wrapped around her belly. That right there was the moment that pummeled me to the ground. I am so in love with my daughter. I am so in love with my life. I would never in a million years dream that I would get to be a mom, have a wonderful husband who has been my best friend through thick and thin, live in a quaint apartment in the southside of Chicago or spend each and every day I'm given with new meaning.
I have never felt anything more powerful in my life.