So first of all, don't freak out. Hopefully you can tell by the nice weather and different hairstyle that this is from last summer. I'm not drinking. But really, can't someone make it be July and hand me a beer? All this winter lately has been counterproductive to my motivation and my mood. I think it's been long enough, right? We lasted nearly to April, I'll even take 50 degree days compared to this crap. One of the terrible things about living in Chicago.
So finally being in the third trimester, I've encountered something that many women late in their pregnancies like to call "nesting". Nesting is pretty much this crazy feeling a mama bird gets when she prepares her little space up in that tree and goes a little manic until it's just right. And it's all rooted in science or something, because pretty soon the mama bird lays her eggs and then... BOOM. Baby. Chicks. Everywhere. While I'm not trying to say I'm gonna have the lil cupcake tomorrow, I'm trying to explain this crazy feeling I get about needing to prepare. I'll really be honest with everyone, it's been hard. The list of things that we need to do before she gets here is growing and growing in my mind; it keeps me up at night. The time we have throughout the day is sparse between 8 day work weeks, anywhere from 8-12 hour days, gigs, doctor's appointments... you name it. It really has been rough. I'm not one to complain, but I feel like this entire week I haven't gotten nearly the amount of rest I need to, you know, create a nervous system complete with important shit like working, firing synapses. Common! That's crazy! (One of my favorite tidbits from Abby at work. This girl always knows how to make me smile). And you should go visit her pretty blog.
The strangest thing about my "nesting" phase is that for as much as I feel I need to get done, my body is pretty much telling me it has no energy to do any of it. So I'm left with two options: have Erick do it or don't do it at all. Neither of which happen to be helpful because he's gone probably even more than I am, and we all know how much doing nothing accomplishes. See? Counterproductive Nesting. It's ridiculous. I'm really getting down to the wire having my last official day of work creeping up around the corner on May 23rd, and I'm beginning to wonder what else of mine could I possibly sell or if I need to get a second job, or if I need to take some photography gigs again- it's hard to tell. And I'm sure you're all recognizing this terrible cycle I'm in right now...
I just don't want to do any of it.
Any FTM's have advice on how to foster some motivation from the depths of your sleep-deprived soul?